This is Me!
Mel (Lis) Horvath-Lucid
Those who seek me out for Spiritual Direction, relationship coaching, conflict coaching, sexuality education come from a broad range of religious, spiritual, humanist, and earth-based backgrounds and an even greater variety of life experiences. A common thread is that they tend to want to understand more about themselves and the world around them. Oftentimes, there is a fear, burden, or shame that the seeker is looking to have witnessed and transformed. As a practitioner, I am less interested in what it is you believe and more curious to walk with you as you discover a deeper understanding of who you are and the meaning that you give to these beliefs and experiences. To provide a space for you to explore and become the most authentic version of yourself, fostering a genuine, intimate, and healthy relationship with yourself.
As a Spiritual Director, I bring diverse knowledge of theology and a deep love and respect for the many ways in which we find spiritual meaning in this life. My early roots were Mennonite and Christian, and my adulthood has been shaped by earth-based traditions and 10 years of formal study in Buddhism. Working for over 10 years in Unitarian Universalist congregations brought a deep appreciation, research and value for many sources of spirituality, including: Earth-based, Indigenous, Pagan, Humanist, Christian, Judaism, Buddhism, Muslim, Sikh, Atheist, and Metaphysics, and even that list doesn't seem to encompass it fully. As a part of the UUSDN, I am approved to provide Spiritual Direction for those navigating the WellSprings program, as well as those offering Spiritual Direction.
As an American Board Certified Sexologist, Licensed Authentic Tantra Practitioner Tibetan 5 element tantra rooted in the Shagpa Kaygu Tradition, and Our Whole Lives Sexuality Facilitator qualified to Facilitate for all ages, I weave together practices of mindfulness, somatics, pleasure, breath, education and playfulness with a sensitivity and lens that supports autonomy, consent, understanding that all bodies are good bodies. I bring a deep understanding of intimacy, consent (wheel of consent, Betty Martin), gender, sexual orientation, trauma, kink, monogamy and non-monogamy knowledge into crafting personalized packages and learning for individuals, partners, and groups in a way that is engaging, supportive and naturalizing of sexuality and desire.
As a Relationship and Conflict Coach: In addition to completing a Certificate in Conflict Management from Conrad Grebel, I bring over 10 years of experience as a Relationship and Conflict Coach. I have worked with couples on decoupling plans, parenting plans, those looking to transition their relationships from Monogamy to Non-Monogamy and vice versa, those seeking to reclaim the spark, and those who have felt like they were embedded in conflict with no way forward. These experiences have taught me about the importance of moving at the speed of relationship and how to ensure courage and risk are showing up in each conversation, toward doing something differently.
The person within the Practitioner: I am a proud queer, gender-fluid, wild creative who believes in the power of choicefulness. I am a firm believer in Novogamy, with key experience on both living this ideology and walking alongside others as they determine what types of relationships are most meaningful and best for them. I study and practice mindfulness, seeking ways to integrate it into my work and personal life. I experience the world through the lens of creative co-creation. I support the depth and quality of my writing through deep, deliberate self-reflection, dancing courage and risk together, art journaling, and a full commitment to creating “shitty art” to find within that, gems of the human journey, both the shit and magnificence that make up this life, and every one of us. I seek to practice ways of being that no longer separate the good from the bad, and instead to stand firmly in the real, meet it, and to offer tools to support others toward this transformative practice. Singing, hanging with my dog, a few close friends, painting, kayaking, spiritual learning, poetry, writing, making, upcycling, laughter, and deep conversations are how I like to spend my free time. My commitment to myself and to those who seek to work with me is to create a space that fosters greater aliveness. To truly live this one wild and precious life, generously and fully.